Saturday, August 30, 2014
Well if you were to ask me to profile a paedophile or a budding child molester I would not have given you Will Hayden as a primary example. Having said that a child's accusations have to be listened to. But without there being more than allegations a man's life sits in ruin. I call that excessive power. First the ex-girlfriend claims that their 12 year old daughter was molested. He is Arrested and eventually released on 250K bail. But then (notice it's AFTER the ex makes the claim) the Daughter corroborates the story saying she was afraid to talk before. There are a lot of kids making allegations these days that get parents in a pot of hot water without a shred of evidence. Just that the words of a child are always true. Anyone with a child knows THAT is a misnomer. Children are HONEST but truthful? The imagination and ability to create stories is incredible. My Daughter has made up some whoppers believe me. But the understanding of creativity and lies have a very grey line.
Was the ex's daughter coerced into it by a bitter mother, seeking more money from a successful reality show star? Good chance of it. The Washington Post has posted a sketchy commentary designed to make Will Hayden look like a potential molester. But it's all out of context. Headered "Scary past Of Will Hayden"
1. Hayden was beaten as a child.
2. And he survived a house fire.
3. He couldn't afford a gun — so he made one.
4. He was suspected of robbing his own gun shop.
5. He’s said creepy things about virgins before.
Let's get real about this last one. Guys have been making ridiculous and unsubstantiated rude comments about virgins since we started thinking about sex. THAT does not make you creepy. It makes you a GUY. NONE of these elements fit a profile for a child molester. Heck if he liked to torture small things and was molested as a child MAYBE then it would be in his psyche. But all this makes is for a strong and resolute man of action and control. A man I would most likely want at my back in a shitstorm. (pardon my language)
Having said all this I believe in letting the system do it's due diligence. If he is shown by evidence that he is guilty then he should bloody well go away for life and throw away the key. But I find that the rule of "Innocent till proven guilty" is also a misnomer. "Guilty till proven innocent" is more correct. Everyone judges the moment accusations are laid. Everyone becomes an armchair quarterback (or judge in these cases). Even Discovery Channel has cancelled the show and wiped it from their site. SO just the POTENTIAL makes it so. What if it's all a grab and an angry ruse to destroy a good person. His own elder daughter stephanie says there was never ANY impropriety in their house ever. Sisters tend to defend one another. What an offending father does to one he will usually do or have done to the other.
what happens on a daily basis all around the world makes me sick. People are accused of doing a heinous crime by others with all to gain by the downfall of the accused. But no one thinks ok, what's YOUR side of the story? It's just "YEAH STRING THEM UP! MURDERER!, RAPIST, PAEDOPHILE, RACIST, BABY KILLER, ABUSER, MISOGYNIST, LAWYER!" Ok so no one is accused of being a misogynist (hehe)
I know that usually where there is smoke there is fire BUT not always and when there is revenge and money almost never. If I am wrong then I will gladly say so and take my lumps. I can accept errors in judgment and I am not being emphatic here but I think this is a case of revenge. Worst of all I believe the mother has coerced her daughter to defame a good man in the name of revenge and money. That The Discovery Channel has once again shown itself to be a knee jerk reactionist (as they did with Phil Roberts of Duck Dynasty fame) afraid of bad numbers and publicity that MAY negatively reflect on their bottom line, shows how the world bends. Even though I believe constitutionally they have no reason to cancel the show of an accused man and not a convicted man. Example. The title of my article. Quite deliberate. Did you Judge immediately? Were you disgusted? Were you willing to read before judging? Did you jump to a conclusion?
Where is the support of your shows? Don't you look into the background of your hires? Aren't you willing to stand by the members of your shows that you make millions on? Just cut and run eh David Zaslav.
NOT someone I want at my back in a shitstorm. (sorry again, I'm so Canadian)
Yours In Clay & water
*-As Always I welcome your thoughts. But NOT your hate. If you just want to spew rhetoric and hate at me don't bother. I welcome debate on TOPIC and not personal attacks.
Since I wrote this as of Thursday September 11th 2014 Stephanie Hayden has come out on US National TV during the Dr. Phill show to explain AN alleged incident 20 years earlier where ah says her father made an attempt at an overtly sexual advance in regards to her breasts. Though he stopped suddenly it has stuck in her mind and came roaring back after her little sister confessed to the assaults on her person. Stephanie now believes these accusations to be true. Her husband and part owner of Red Jacket Firearms Kris Ford was backstage and was shocked and mortified. He only then found out what his mentor adopted father figure has been alleged to have perpetrated upon his own Daughters. "What kind of monster does that to his own child" Kris was recorded saying at the end of the episode while behind scenes at the show.
Will still stands by his innocence and I am inclined to believe the words of his own Daughter Stephanie as she has nothing to be gained by these charges or his potential lifetime incarceration. She is already a major share holder in the family company. All I can say is sometimes the worst allegation are true. BUT WAIT Till you hear ALL the facts before casting judgement people. Now I have heard what I believe to damning evidence let the system do it's job.
Though it saddens me to see it and say it, I hope they lock him up and throw away the key. Sexual predators cannot be rehabilitated. Will Hayden if found guilty (and he should) should NEVER see the light of day again.
Yours In Clay & Water.
#sonsofguns, #whillhayden, Will Hayden, Discovery Channel, #discoverychannel, #MURDERER, #RAPIST, #PAEDOPHILE, #RACIST, #BABY KILLER, #ABUSER, #MISOGYNIST, #redjacketfirearms, Red Jack Firearms, Scandal, #arrested, #bail, #Cancelled, #hate, #defamation, Washington Post, #washingtonpost,
Wednesday, August 27, 2014
I know this was an accident and the first on RECORD... but seriously people. CHECK YOU HEADS? Not check them at the door to the gun range! The range is called Burgers & Bullets located in Arizona. With a perfectly clean track record with professional staff. Just to be clear. Still...
She will have to live with the death of this man for the rest of her days or until someone figures out how to repress it for her.
|NY rally for choke-out victim|
(Photo: STAN HONDA, AFP/Getty Images)
Let me help to understand my point. Even if it was OPRAH I would say the same thing. If it was the Governor of Missouri I would say the same thing. What do people of "celebrity" have to gain by standing at the front of a rally? Numbers, followers, ratings, you name it and it's probably right. I have Huge respect for Oprah Winfrey. Heck we know that if she decided to throw her hat in the presidential ring that should would probably win hands down. (Just hope every month a new state would get free cars! Though it would be cheaper if she moved to Canada and became the Prime Minister. It's only the state of California worth of cars.)
When "Iyanla Fix My Life" on the OWN network (Oprah Winfrey Network) decided to do her thing for the people of #Ferguson with Michael Browns' father and the Chief of Police I decried it as a ratings grabbing piece of filth IF it was done entirely in front of the cameras. IF she was being completely sincere in her desire to fix the situation and create calm then it would be done PROFESSIONALLY. Meaning NO cameras. Maybe some stills but no cameras. WHY? Cameras change everything. Sit in private session and DO IT RIGHT. Then AFTER all was said and done, tears and yelling in private, THEN and ONLY THEN do the two principals involved step before a PRESS conference and explain what has happened. Now It's not a ratings grab it's a legitimate therapy. Unmotivated by a personal agenda for self aggrandizement.
Do we see where I am going with this gang? I am trying hard not to over complicate this but it is such a psychological web of deeply motivated selfishness it makes me nauseous. To understand the type of personality that thrives on being the centre of attention to such a degree that it's almost uncontrollable.
If Rev. Sharpton was truly well meaning and not self serving then he would go to the family and private and speak to them. He would hold a press conference in a controlled and calm manor speaking his mind but asking for calm. Not in-sighting riot through his passionate "souther baptist" style of righteous indignation with fire and brimstone. a TRUE leader does not act out of uncontrolled passion but precise and focused control. Heck if the parents of the slain boy can ask for calm when they have every right to be anger, bitter and bible thumpin' passionate, then a community leader like Rev. Sharpton should be able to do the same. It is expected from a leader to be and DO exactly that.
Though I do not doubt that when all is said and done we will find this was NOT a racially motivated situation,(But Rev. Sharpton would make it one to further his agenda and validate his pay-check) but likely either one of poor training or the officer was telling the truth. We need to step back as a HUMAN race and ask "What are the motivations of the people who stand up for us? Why would a person who is justified to be disproportionately passionate and angry not. But someone from the out side is?" and all should say to themselves "We are better than this and I will not become the beast that seeks wanton destruction to mollify my unfounded anger." "Who is stirring my anger?" and "Where is it coming from?" Consider the source people. Consider reason. Consider that you may not know all the facts and that before you go hanging someone you should know what happened to mitigate the situation. This is about doing the right thing. "NO PEACE WITHOUT JUSTICE?" means No peace till I my anger is sated is what it means. Justice has nothing to do with it. We all know the only thing the black community of #Ferguson want to hear is that the boy was wronged and the officer is a racist pig that will be locked away for life. Just because colour is the issue all see. Unless a the investigation comes back with a charge of murder and a Judge sentences him with life (or death) the rioters will not be satisfied. And fates preserve us if THAT doesn't happen
When will we stop seeing colour and religion and start seeing humans and behaviours as tools of judgement.
Yours In Clay & Water
#revalsharpton #ferguson #riots #religion #racism #anger #peace #calmheads #violence #insurance #detroit #suffering #micahelbrown #iyanla #oprah #oprahwinfrey #own #presidency #primeminister #selfish #therapy #psychological #justice #appeasement #humanity #life #unity #skincolour #masnbc #fox #whitehouse
Monday, August 25, 2014
Shake rattle and toll baby. I remember my first quake in Cali. 1983 in Woodland Hills. My father tried to pass off the rocking for 2 minutes as "a truck hitting the house." Yet there was no damage of ANY kind. I knew. I have since felt 3 more and all of them... Toronto. But when things go boom and burn, I get scared. You can't Irimi-nagi an earthquake. You can however do zempo kaiten ukemi. But that's about it. (forward break falls)
To my friends of old in California who just got this rumble from hell. Stay safe and have a beer. The beer is filtered and your drinking water right now isn't. It's safer. That's my excuse and you should stick to it.
Your's In Clay & Water
Well actually the spoken word is no longer communicating today EITHER. Think about it. We send e-mails, texts, tweets, pics, pokes, instagrams, and friend requests. But we don't TALK anymore. We walk down the street, most heads are down. checking their tweets or texts. I was at the beach the other day with my family and sure enough I looked around to see at least a dozen people in beach chairs staring at their tablets and phones. I laughed and actually said. "Are you kidding me!" I got a couple of looks but HEY at least they looked! Games on the devices are more interesting then the kids playing and you participating. Who cares if they are being scoped by a pedophile!? (oh wait! there's that bubble wrapping again) But it's wonderful out, theres a lake, your kids are playing and swimming but YOU... what are you doing? Playing Angry Birds on Facebook. SERIOUS?!
The need for others to be able to reach us instantly has also made society become very stressed. Anxiety and it's known disorders are on a shocking rise. TIME magazine reports a study shows Anxiety disorders are "up more than 300% since 2000". Being reachable at a moments notice has made us all anxious and jumpy. As a self employed person I NEED to get an email with a job offer every week. BUT I have made it clear to my clients that I may be "disconnected" on the weekend for family time and don't even ask about Sunday work. I'm out. But companies have become dependent on their employees. Smart phones and tablets are killing us. This article talks about how smart phones are driving us over the edge. PTSD is not just a condition of the military. If you are used to being at heightened stress levels and suddenly find yourself suddenly without those stressors you can suffer from PTSD. How's that for messing with your mind.
My good friend was diagnosed with PTSD after his last tour in K.A.F. While in the condition all is as it should be. Digestion and other physical traits and conditions may become off kilter but otherwise highly functional. We learn to cope with and develop or are trained to respond to certain potentially life threatening issues. There are clear and concise guidelines on how to react to each situation in the military. Civilian life is not much different. When those learned or trained protocols no longer apply, you sit waiting for the next stressor with no clear parameters as to what is a correct and acceptable response, then we go haywire. Drinking is a common choice of action. Like saying "I don't give a shit so I won't feel shit."
But with our eyes on the screens all the time we lose connection to the world around us. How can we function. Really function. The reality is we can't. Eventually higher function is lost to auto-correct, calculators and auto responders. We no longer have to say "HI!" anymore. Our email can generate an auto-response to most emails if you know what to do. (now I bet some of you are going "REALLY? How gotta look that up.) We all know that families are texting to each other. Floor to floor communication in the house is done with texts or notices on Facebook. "DINNER!" or what ya doin'?" are no longer shouted communications from downstairs but "bings" on your tablet, computer or smartphone. It's too easy to get hold of someone and even more easy to get pissed off when that person decides not to answer. Now that person is stressed because you didn't drop everything immediately to answer them. Worse is you are stressed because you didn't want to answer but are afraid that the person who tried to get through is pissed at you. Which they probably are. ARGH!!!!
I haven't owned a cell in 11 years. I do however use an Ipod. But it has a text app and Skype for calls but never do I get any. WHY? texting. But it works only where there is WIFI. Pretty much everywhere today. (except camping and the beach) But I can tell you from first hand experience that the day I got rid of my cell and told everyone, my stress dropped by 75%. Stress for hunting the jobs didn't drop but the constant need to answer that ring was killing me. (so were the bills). I realized that there are SOOOO many ways for people to reach me. Land line at home, emails (I can get them anywhere pretty much) Work once I'm there. But with my family and on the road? I am not THAT important to the world. Heck for the 45 minutes to an hour and thirty I'm on the road I CAN'T HELP YOU! I'm driving to save mine and others lives. How? Not answering your "How are ya!?" calls. Plus I can de-stress listening to comedy or music. I will get there eventually and I WILL call you back.
that's right. I made DRIVING my priority and NOT answering calls or making them. I'm not the PM of Canada or POTUS or even a doctor. So what can I do from where I am? Nothing till I get where I'm going.
It's similar to that "favour" you did your boss once at work and now they come to expect it from you. (no not THAT favour you pervs!) Extra hours for nothing or that call in even though you aren't being paid to be "ON-CALL." OH and by the way gang, people are paid to be on call so don't feel guilty about not taking that "call-in" from your job.
We need to re-teach our clients, and employers that "not at work" MEANS "not at work. That you want to have the same decompression time as they do and deserve it just as much. You are human. You know what makes us human?
Your's In Clay & Water
#texting, #textinganddriving, #PTSD, #anxiety, #mentaldisorders, #stress, #smartphones, #tablets, #Ipod, #communication, #primates, #missinglink
Friday, August 22, 2014
He was a married man bound to a wheelchair by a debilitating illness. I never actually asked him what happened. All I know is he was happy and miserable all at the same time. Approximately a year ago he fell ill and was unable to return to work. Everyone was hoping for a return but a couple months in I was told "he just wants it end". I asked to be kept in the loop but II got left out. Today I said, "Hey, How is he? When's he coming back?" My buddy just looked at me crestfallen. Didn't you know? I assumed everyone knew." he could see the tears welling in my eyes. "I'm sorry man. we posted it on the site too." I could tell this broke his heart to tell me after months of assuming I knew.
I was caught off-guard to say the least. He apologised for not telling me but I'm not mad. He's a very busy guy with a lot on his plate and lots of people to juggle. Between Clients and staff I can totally understand why I might have fallen into the cracks. Still, it hurt to think I wasn't on the list of "must tells."
Do you think of your own mortality when someone you know dies? Does it matter how old you are? In front of others do you feel anything other than mild sadness? What's appropriate? Do you hold it in if it's at work or is it ok to lose your shit? It's so hard to make the human choice when standing on ceremony. So many thoughts fly through your mind. Will someone think you over sensitive?
I've come to realise as you I hope may, that you are who you are. In those vulnerable times it is right to be just that. Those that care will accept and support you in those moments. Chances are they feel the same. Maybe you will help them to release as well. Sometimes one persons release is the lesson for anothers.
But that day was a reminder to me of the sensitivity of life. Being aware and unaware all at the same time.
Life is a funny thing isn't it.
Yours In Clay & Water
#grief #anger #loss #friends #support #workplace #emotionalturmoil #understandinghurt #grieving
Thursday, August 21, 2014
LET the system do it's JOB! It's may not always work but it WORKS 99% of the time. So, unfounded, passionate, knee jerk, reaction-ism is a BAD idea. It's 2014 folks. We are a civilized Continent for the most part. Let's show the world how to deal with out problems. That death and unlawful, destructive, angry behaviour serves no one but the deranged and sycophantic. Show the world that the WEST has the best system of Government and Policing. That we can weather a storm and obtain Justice without killing thousands to make our point. Points are made in discussion and court rooms. Not with more bloodshed. What did the grocery store owner do to you? What did the liquor store clerk do? Be there. So you could terrorize them in the name of your anger while excusing your pathetic gang-banger behaviour. Cloaking it in a protest that you care naught for.
Thank you local pastors. Calling for calm and not insighting riot like Al Sharpton. I used to think religion was about peace and understanding your role in society to one another. Over the last 30 years I have come to realize like race, it is used to control the masses and peg hole them in an expectation. Well making this a race issue only serves the individuals need to see people act and jump because they can.
Celebrity is addicting and powerful. Al Sharpton is that. Consider what if his passion was used to CALM the people of #Ferguson instead of hoping to tear it apart for his cause. The Cause of racial destruction and governmental dismemberment in the name of Jesus. Makes him feel like G_D if you ask me.
Think like the Brits people. KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON!
#religion #Ferguson #riots #NorthAmerica #racialhatred #raceriots #police #foxnews #honestreporting #justicesystem
Saturday, August 16, 2014
Thursday, August 14, 2014
Wednesday, August 13, 2014
Every article discussed needs to be taken with a grain of salt. (yes I know hyper tension issues just chill!) But if you see the intro's and pre-show run-ups well they are just scary. The network needs views and I understand that. But being responsible matters not only in journalism (though that's debatable.) but in informational magazine shows like this. "Is your kitchen is trying to kill you!" sounded the pre-show ads. Well this get's my attention. But I consider myself a relatively sensible guy. I'm not saying I don't have my gullible moments but still it takes more than flashy advertising and sensationalism to get me to buy in. But there are millions of susceptible people out there. People who trust professionals without checking their own common sense. I believe THIS is what is causing the rampant paranoia. Too many people consider every word as gospel. While we now wash everything and pour anti-bacterial creams and sprays on everything from our hands to our toes. From the counter to the knobs. We forget that when we were kids staying clean meant washing after a day in the mud and whatever was IN that mud. Our bodies have become so dependent on outside assistance that is has become a soft target for anything that can touch out delicate epidermis. We are on the path to walking on side-walks with our heads down looking to not step on a crack. I don't know about you but being Jack Nicholson is not my life's' aspiration.
But our rampant paranoia is not just the germs. You will recall recently my article on bubble wrapping the kids. Well I touched on the media being the source of this. It is the same as the medical sensationalism of germs and the evil all around us. That every cut can and WILL lead Necrotizing Fasciitis or every corner, park bench, shaded car window and stranger walking past us right now is a rapist, murderer or paedophile.
When we hear about these crimes happening NO MATTER where they occur, we tend to graft them onto us and our very streets. With Information getting around the world instantaneously, now it feels almost like every attack happened in your own neighbourhood. So every street, every car, every light houses a killer, rapist paedophile. With a heightened sense of fear and trained response of "bubble wrapping" our children, scrubbing hands, knobs, counters, sheets and shoes, we will all soon suffer PTSD. (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) When the stressors no longer exist or effect you directly and you relax then you lose control and look for a replacement to the stressors. Kind of like ADDICTION WITHDRAWAL. I have a few friends who have been diagnosed with PTSD and they don't even realize it's happening. OCDers don't realise they are doing it till the skin get's raw.
PEOPLE WE NEED TO COLLECTIVELY GET A HANDLE ON OUR HEADS! Media is driving the paranoia. The desire to purchase huge amounts of disinfectant, anti-microbial bacterial sprays, wipes, washes. Why every car that goes by your school or playground is a feeding ground for everyone else but YOU. Why Spanking to some is child abuse, why yelling is demeaning to a child that shows no respect to his parents or authority. Why Schools can't do their jobs and why children can't just go out to play. GET A GRIP, TAKE A DEEP BREATH and just remember the world is not the same but it can be enjoyable. Enjoyable as it was to what each generation calls "The simpler times". Get Dirty, Eat something that hit the floor, let the children play. Who knows, maybe they won't need to be spanked. They will be dirty and tired to get in trouble.
Yours In Clay & Water
#OCD #PTSD #NecrotizingFasciitis #TheDoctors #DrOz #mentalhealth #CMHA #bubblewrappingkids #germs #NSF
Tuesday, August 12, 2014
Friday, August 8, 2014
|Photo: Stephen Baccon|
video's like this....
How do you love children who are trained and indoctrinated to kill and hate? You can't. You can be proud of them as they die for a cause you yourself won't die for. No, you'll teach the hate but you yourself will watch your child die for a cause that has no end. You'll cry for the camera and blame the enemy but not yourself. No matter how many times the world calls for peace, all they do is kill for pride and martyrdom. Peace is not in their vocabulary. It's not taught. School is for teaching love and numbers and science and history. Useful skills for building a better future. To be a useful member of society for MANY YEARS to come. Not till he's ready to die. WHY!? Am I the only one who is sitting here busting his nut over this travesty of life. Where an entire adult culture should be brought up before a commission for violating basic human rights. (I hate referring to HRC's but...) For parenting practices that are or should be considered abuse and deem the entire country unfit parents. If you kill your children and train them to die then how do you expect your so called burgeoning nation to have a future? Oh right. You don't. The highest joy in life is not to live in peace and happiness. Raise a family and retire. It's to die. So why try and live love and enjoy your children. It'll be short and you shouldn't be around to enjoy it anyway. As the world became smaller we became more fearful. What news our parents saw when we were children has since increased 100 fold. Since we became the parents our views of the crimes south of us here added to our fear of spill over. Toronto went from 2 million to 3 million. So therefore our violent crime rates must have increased by at least one half, right? All it took was to hear that one crime here in Canada matched the several heard about in say New York or Florida or Washington DC and suddenly the one similar was now several. We perceptually grafted those crimes on to our one. We suddenly had nutters around every corner. So on goes the bubble wrap. But in our exuberance to protect them we have also taught them to not be taken advantage of. In doing so and not letting them discover that power through trial and error, we have inadvertently created a monster. The entitlement generation. They want it because they believe they should have without earning it. No sweat, no blood and not mistakes to account for and learn from. Did we make out kids over wise? Doubt it.
Wednesday, August 6, 2014
Let's understand. Magic is my daughters little stuffed unicorn and picture evidence proved it was in her hands on the bed in the hotel 24 hours ago. We have town the place apart and her tears are flowing something fierce. wife - "When we get home, if we can't find her we'll buy you another one." More tears ensue. me- "Hun offer to replace her new fav. is like saying I could go out and replace you".
So my wife comes up with the logic that housekeeping didn't see this one in the blankets and it ended up in laundry where it would have then been discovered. Pretty sound logic, so I called front desk.and found out that if this had occurred it would be in housekeeping managers office and HE was gone till 8am tomorrow. "alarms bells and heart sinking ensued in me now. "It's not going to be a good night" I said to him. He kindly apologized and said that they used to have care bears to give out in such emergencies but have since run out and not restocked. "Sorry sir and good luck" ending on a chipper but sympathetic exit. fourth times the charm!
So back into tearing the room apart. I could hear the pain and tears flowing from my little girl. It was breaking my heart and then I thought...What if all they did was reset the room and just tucked in the bedding. So I began to feel the end of the bed and under the blankets. Just then I looked at my wife and said "hey hun, what if they just re-tucked it?" I ripped off the cover and low and behold it fell into my wife's hands. She exclaims "I've never been so happy to see a stuffiie". tears brimming in both our eyes. No more heart break and best of all...
We will sleep tonight!\
Yours In Clay & Water
Monday, August 4, 2014
When I got home I got back online to the #Toronto Online chat community where I first met her. (this was pre-internet) Well I was on and moments later she came into my room and started flaming me left and right. "You don't know me! Your nothing but a shell of my shit!" and of course I got sucked right in and told her she didn't know shit about my life and how I felt like a rubber ball in my family's life. A prize to be won but not cared about. I signed off and never signed back on again. I've held that experience with me for years and it took me a while to realize that the "PAIN PISSING CONTEST" is not worth while. I never got into it that bad ever again. When I sense it coming I walk away or listen intently with a sympathetic ear and say nothing about my past. A nod and an encouraging "I know" or "uh huh". I realize this is their time to open up. Their moment of #catharsis.
Now when an adult or parental figure does this you REALLY have to relax. You can end up looking at the elder like they snapped a nut. "Aren't I supposed to look to YOU for guidance and sympathy? If your loosing your shit what am I supposed to do? Now the #psychology enters into a deeper bound. They have an addiction that only is marginally recognized by themselves but everyone else is certain. Addictive personalities tend to hold tighter to their moments of happiness like rare coins from the slot machine or the last drop of scotch in the bottle. Better tread lightly. Anything that even markedly seems to be a slight on that rosy red apple can become an angry red boil that only lancing and antibiotics can cure.
To care for or take care of that is the question. Yes it's #semantics but it's the difference between changing a persons life for "independence" or just putting up walls around them that they will just resent you for. Sadly some people have never really had the opportunity to become independent. Some have gotten married early in their lives and never developed a strong sense of self, self worth and basic survival skills. Once more, looking through their eyes helps you to see the issue but not heal it. Especially when nothing short of an intervention will do the job.
Sometimes it's hard to keep perspective and stay the course. Sometimes anger can get the better of you. But you can't let it. Breathe, count to ten, say a mantra or go for a walk around the block. Whatever it takes. DO NOT GET INTO A PISSING CONTEST. You will not get through this way. Sometimes the best thing to do is just let them sit in their own shit. Say nothing for a while till THEY cool off. If you can regain control of you then the best way to help them regain control is stop the talk and walk away. Now you are forcing them to think. This is what I always say to my wife when we are ticked about someone else's behavior with us... "BE THE BETTER PERSON" You can never have regrets when you do what you know is the right thing. (I don't mean "this time I'm gonna kick his ass because its the right thing to do this time") The other person will always know that you did them no wrong and can't say a word against you with a shred validity without looking spiteful. It's kind of like a built in karma. They Blew up, said hurtful things, didn't make dinner, buy a gift, a card or whatever seemed deliberately hurtful. You still kissed them, hugged them, told them positive things, bought a card, made them dinner, bought a gift etc... Family, Friends, co-workers, whomever it is do the right thing anyway. It's a slap but a slap of kindness. Trust me this will almost always cause some introspection and change of behavior. I don't know about you but this feels even better vindication then a beat-down street style and less hospital bills too. (oh yeah and legal fees)
My mantra today friends... When life gives you anything shitty Always be the better person. Do the right thing.
Yours In Clay & Water
Now if only we could get mass moronicy in the mid-east to work this way.
#dotherightthing #bethebetterperson #karma #introspection #psychology #humanbehavior #semantics #addiction #intervention #treatment #catharsis